Edmonton, Ab: Eyebrows were raised slightly today at the news that Agent 0311 has pulled the plug on yet another 240-series Volvo. In fact, 0311 has consigned so many 240s to the bin that some agents are beginning to suspect ulterior motives. Do agents 0311 and 0313 have, as some are whispering, an angle? A reason to hasten the donation?
This reporter suspects that last winter's Dead-Volvo-a-Thon did little to help already ambiguous relations between 0311,0313, and their fleet of semi-faithful safety bricks.
"Our good car is a 73 Beetle with no headlights." 0311 said in a Monday phone interview from his mansion where he was nursing the last few bits onto a 1963 122s, cursing quietly under his breath and taking frequent sips of a gigantic rye & 7.
Will Agents 0311 & 0313 find true love in the harsh, fast-paced world outside 240-ownership? All agents please submit ideas for non-240-based transportation to this column.